It came *this* close to being over. Not in a "throw a massive strop and never talk again" thing, but more a resigned, sad, stop making effort and saying 'hello' in passing thing.
Of course CH cancelled our lunch meeting. Should I have expected anything else? Apparently she had some shopping to do for someone else and couldn't spare the time. She tried to save herself by suggesting afternoon coffee... not ideal, but I could go with that... until she tells me she's going for coffee and her friends are going too.
Sigh.
I did contemplate walking away at that stage, but then, had I really made it clear to CH what the issues are? I'd just assumed that she knew what was going on.
I dropped her a quick text last night asking if everything was OK and that's prompted a rather lengthy text conversation about the state of our friendship. Personally, I think she's been ultra defensive and has taken the content of the texts quite literally in places instead of seeing a bigger picture.
But, she's agreed to make time to meet for lunch soon. Ordinarily, I'd just assume she'd cancel for some flimsy reason, but this time I think she finally gets it. I don't think we're ever going to agree on the reliability thing. I think proposed social things will always get cancelled because everyone else is more important to her than I am, even if I am only asking her for her time once or twice a year. I don't see that asking to be a higher priority once or twice a year is that unreasonable.
And that's what it comes down to - time. In a recent chat with KfW2 about her own friend problems (a friend who will buy extravagant presents but won't make any time for her), we do agree on this. All I ask is for some time every now and again... be it a coffee, a drink or whatever and it would be nice if my friend, no matter who that is, could make that their priority.
No comments:
Post a Comment