Spot the trend.

My lunch date yesterday with QC1 fell through. Well, more accurately, she never replied to my email confirming my availability. I did meet CH for coffee though and, if I am being honest, she didn't look to be in too much discomfort, despite her Facebook protestations.

Still, we were both due to take our time off, even if we weren't going to the pub together, so I suggested we did lunch. From that, we spent a fun few hours wandering around the city doing bits and pieces of shopping. It was only after we'd been walking around solidly for about 90 minutes that she started complaining of discomfort.

I suggested we found somewhere for a drink or coffee.

We chatted, but we didn't cover any serious ground. I didn't talk about my current funk and disappointment in her unreliability and she didn't mention her job hunting.

We parted company at 4 PM as she left to get the bus home and I had to return to my place to await KfW2's arrival at 5 PM.

Except KfW2 called at 4:30 and said she'd be running late. And she sent a text at 5:10 to say she'd be on her way. And called at 6 PM to say that she was stuck in traffic. And sent another text at 6:30 to say she was ten minutes away before finally arriving at 6:45 PM. With her nine week old daughter in tow.

This night was never about going out and getting falling down drunk, but it was very much about find a cosy bar, having a few drinks over five-or-so hours and talking. Obviously, turning up nearly three hours after the original meeting time with an infant isn't going to mean any kind of relaxing, fun night.

I'd been swapping emails with USHW between leaving CH and KfW2's arrival and my parting shot as I left was "I think we're literally going to show up to the restaurant, have something to eat and leave."

Apparently, KfW2 Jnr was brought along because a few nights previously, Mr KfW2 had to look after the infant for a while and KfW2 thought that it was unfair that he did it while she was out having fun and getting drunk. In isolation, this is not an unreasonable attitude... until KfW2 tells me that she's going to visit her parents this weekend because Mr KfW2 is at his Xmas party and she won't be able to cope on her own.

I love KfW2 to bits and I enjoyed the two and a half hours that we spent, even though her attention the entire time was her daughter. After my success a few weeks ago with GM, I wanted to have the same conversation with KfW2, but we barely got into our stride, conversation-wise.

The last thing that KfW2 said as she left me off home was that we should arrange a night out, just the two of us.

USHW asked if I'd had a good time. The answer was that I did. With both women (though the question was more to do with KfW2). More specifically, that answer was: "In isolation, yes. In comparison to what should have been, a massive, massive disappointment."

USHW asked for clarification.

I said: "It should have been a full night out with KfW2 and CH, having some drinks and lots of chatting that I've been looking forward to for 7 weeks. What it turned out to be was an afternoon shopping with CH and a 2 hour meal with KfW2 whose priority was her daughter the entire time."

Both women were apologetic, but sometimes it's not enough, especially from CH who's been as unreliable as anyone I can remember... even more so than AM. Both have legitimate excuses this time around (even if part of me thinks that CH was exaggerating her pain and that KfW2 was being too sensitive).

It did prompt a theory that has been bubbling along for a while ow subconsciously, but just put of reach - I think I've been taking these things badly over the past 18 months because the upshot of it when someone can't pull through for me or cancels a social engagement is that I'm  not important enough in their lives. That, then, resurfaces the usual funk about wanting to meet someone... to be that important in someone's life. Disappointment in supposedly minor things like GB not coming out on NYE last year, CH making last-minute cancellations, GM and S being unavailable etc. have all been amplified because of that one thing.

I'm definitely going to have to have the conversation with both CH and KfW2 about everything really, but it has to be in person and, well, you know...